Have you heard about the fastest growing job market for technical writers?
If you can write the lists of side effects and disclaimers in pharmaceutical advertisements, you’re in high demand. I mean, you must be in high demand, based on the sheer number of ads I see that promise to cure everything from diabetes to depression to, um, other things.
In keeping with the spirit of the times, here are the particulars about the blog you’re reading. At the bottom of the page, I’ve provided annotations to give you all the training you need to enter the exciting world of medical disclaimer writing.
Do not read this blog while operating heavy machinery, while trapeze-walking across Niagara Falls, or while performing brain surgery..
Do not read this blog if you are a man who is pregnant or about to become pregnant, if you are taking certain  enzyme inhibitors, or if you’re just plain feeling inhibited.
Side effects can include drowsiness, nausea, and sudden snorts of laughter. Some severe reactions, including blurred vision and decreased appetite, have happened . Rare but serious side effects, including some fatal events  have also been reported .
Tell your doctor if you experience memory loss, seizures, hives, and sudden unexplained loss of body parts. They don’t have anything to do with this blog. But you should tell your doctor anyway, because — yeesh — they sound pretty bad.
Happy reading, and best of luck in your new career.
- Certain ones. We don’t know which ones. Just trying to avoid liability here.
- Have happened: The perfect phrase for disclaiming any and all responsibility for anything at all.
- I’m preparing a conference presentation called Pharmaceutical Advertisers’ Euphemisms for “You’re Dead.”
- Have also been reported. Sharpen your passive-voice skills with this liability-evading construction.